didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
