garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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