I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
