Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
