can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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