our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
