IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
