false alarm. still invincible.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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