Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
