you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
