I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
