so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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