Pappa wants mamma naked
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
