I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
