make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
