Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
