The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
