his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
