It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
