Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
