don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
