I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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