Dual....:-)
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
