he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
