we made out on top of his cat.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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