3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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