this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
