chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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