When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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