Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
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