He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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