my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize