I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
