I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
