what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
