Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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