happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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