I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
