I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
