I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Porn is love you can see.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
