Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
