im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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