Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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