I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
