I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
