tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
