"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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