i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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