Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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