We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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