Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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