Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
