My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
