Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
