I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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