New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
