I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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