so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
