People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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