Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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